Child Sexual Abuse: Understanding and Supporting Survivor
THE SCOPE OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
- According to research, 1 in 3 Brits reported being sexually victimized before they turned 18
- In the majority of child sexual abuse cases, the offender was known to the child.
- The majority of adult survivors of child sexual abuse report that they did not disclose the abuse to anyone when they were children.
- 87% of child abuse cases are never brought forward to police or child welfare.
- There are strong connections between child abuse and mental health conditions.
What is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse happens when an adult, or sometimes another child, forces or manipulates a young person into sexual activities. It's never the child's fault, and it can take many forms—some obvious, some harder to notice. This can include inappropriate touching, showing sexual material, or making a child take part in any sexual behaviour. And it doesn’t always involve physical contact—things like exposing a child to sexual conversations or content online also count as abuse.
Some examples are:
- Inappropriate touching
- Forcing or manipulating a child into sexual acts
- Exposing a child to pornography or sexual content
- Grooming, where someone builds trust with a child with the intent to exploit them later
Myths Versus Truths
Myths:
- Nice people don’t sexually offend against children
- Most offenders are strangers
- All victims eventually become offenders
- If a child were sexually abused they would tell an adult right away
- Only hands-on sexual abuse has an emotional impact on children
Truths:
- There is no typical sex offender. They can come from all walks of life; they can be part of families; they may be well liked and socially competent
- In the vast majority of cases of child sexual abuse the offender is not a stranger to the child
- Regardless of their behaviours, child sexual abuse is NEVER a child’s fault — even if they don’t say “no,” if they enjoy being around the offender, if they actively participate, or even potentially initiate some of the contact with the offender
- Sexual abuse that does not include contact can still have a psychological and emotional impact on survivors
- Child sexual abuse is not limited to situations that include force
How Does Child Sexual Abuse Happen?
One word sums it up — manipulation. Offenders’ manipulations are wide ranging, and can include offering up appealing items such as bribes, gifts, and games, but generally involve moving children into vulnerable positions and finding legitimate ways of spending time with them alone.
Manipulation is also about building and developing an emotional connection, making the child feel special, and then using that trust to exploit and control the child. Survivors often say that this betrayal of trust was the most devastating part of the abuse.
Child sexual abuse can happen in person or online, and there are two types: contact and non-contact sexual abuse.
CONTACT ABUSE
Contact abuse encompasses various forms of physical sexual contact with a child's body, such as:
- Sexual touching of any part of a child's body, regardless of whether they are clothed or not.
- Exposing a chid to sexual acts
- Kissing in a sexual manner.
- Engaging in oral sex with a child.
- Utilizing a body part or object to penetrate a child sexually.
- Coercing a child to participate in sexual activities.
- Compelling a child to undress or touch someone else in a sexual manner.
This type of abuse violates a child's boundaries and can have profound and lasting psychological effects. It is crucial to recognize the signs and take immediate action to protect and support the child.
NON-CONTACT ABUSE
Non-contact abuse is sexual activity that doesn’t involve physical sexual contact, and can happen in person or online. Non-contact abuse includes:
- Exposing or flashing
- Showing pornography
- Exposing a chid to sexual acts
- Making a child masturbate
- Making, viewing, or distributing child abuse images or videos
- Tricking or forcing a child to make, view, or share child abuse images or videos
- Tricking or forcing a child to take part in sexual activities or conversations
- Sexual exploitation
How can you spot the signs?
Children who are being abused might not always tell someone outright. This can be because of fear, shame, or because they’ve been manipulated into thinking the abuse is their fault. However, there are certain behaviours and physical signs that could be indicators of abuse.
Some warning signs include:
- Behavioural changes: If a child becomes withdrawn, anxious, or suddenly angry, it might be a sign something is wrong.
- Physical discomfort: Complaints of pain or discomfort in the genital area.
- Unusual knowledge or behaviour: A child talking about or engaging in sexual behaviour that's not age-appropriate.
- Fear of certain places or people: If a child suddenly seems scared to go to places they used to enjoy, like school or a relative's house, it could be a red flag.
These signs don’t always mean abuse is happening, but they’re definitely cause for concern and should never be ignored. The earlier the signs are recognized, the faster a child can get help.
The emotional toll on survivors
Surviving child sexual abuse leaves deep emotional scars that can last well into adulthood. Even after the abuse has stopped, its impact doesn’t just “go away.” Many survivors face long-term emotional and psychological challenges, including:
- Low self-esteem: Feeling worthless or blaming themselves for what happened.
- Trouble trusting others: Especially in close or intimate relationships.
- Anxiety or depression: Constant feelings of sadness or fear can take hold.
- Flashbacks or nightmares: Reliving the trauma in their mind, often without warning.
It's important to know that healing is possible. Survivors are not alone, and with the right support, they can reclaim their sense of safety and self-worth.
Preventing Child Sexual Abuse: What Can We Do?
Preventing child sexual abuse is possible, and it starts with education. Both kids and adults need to understand what boundaries are, what’s appropriate, and how to communicate if something feels wrong.
For parents and caregivers:
- Talk to your child about their body: Let them know that their body belongs to them and that they have the right to say "no" to anything that makes them uncomfortable.
- Teach them about consent: Even at a young age, children can understand the importance of consent—both in giving and receiving it.
- Keep open communication: Encourage your child to talk to you if something feels off, whether it’s with someone they know or even online.
Adults should also be aware of the signs of grooming and know how to respond if they suspect something is wrong.
Disclosure of Child Sexual Abuse
The most common response to child sexual abuse is silence. Children often avoid telling someone about sexual abuse because they are confused about what has happened and are afraid they won’t be believed or worry about what a disclosure may do to their family.
Disclosure is a process and can come out in many different ways. Some blurt it all out, while others may let out small bits of information at a time to gauge reaction.